Trading Places When Our Son Became a DaughterA Mother Story of a Family Transition Jane Baker 9780990626701 Books
Download As PDF : Trading Places When Our Son Became a DaughterA Mother Story of a Family Transition Jane Baker 9780990626701 Books
This memoir recounts one mother's struggle to come to terms with her grown up transsexual daughter. When she learned that her adult son planned to become a daughter, she felt like her child was heading for disaster and she desperately tried to stop the transition. As time progressed, her efforts to stop it led her to learn more and more about transsexualism instead. She also became increasingly aware that her child was happier and more confident as a woman, had more friends than ever before, and in some inexplicable way, actually seemed more "normal." However, Baker's own transition was not so easy. She describes a poetic transfer of dissonance "I watched my son disappear; it felt like he had died and an entirely different person emerged to replace him. As my child became whole, I became more dissonant. It was as though we were trading places."
The main thread of the book is the author's personal story of the journey. In a three year period, she transitions from having two grown sons to having one son and one daughter. The book is filled with soul-baring emotion from deep anguish to pure joy, mixed in with family history, noteworthy reactions to the news, academic information, and social and political commentary. Learning the truth about transsexualism and learning about obstacles and issues that trans people face in our society were an important part of her process. Education was a powerful tool that ultimately shaped the course of her journey. With each successive chapter, she hopes to bring readers right through this transition alongside her.
Trading Places When Our Son Became a DaughterA Mother Story of a Family Transition Jane Baker 9780990626701 Books
I've read numerous books on transgender issues, and this is one of the very best. Perhaps it's because the author is not only a parent (so we follow her very reluctant emotional journey to acceptance) but also an engineer (so we get a much more complete understanding of the science-based questions that arise). It's also significant that the author's child transitioned as a young adult, which gives us a wider perspective and more richly detailed picture of the path the author's family traveled, with lots of looks back at a seemingly typical childhood, wherein the parents had no idea their child was transgender until she came out in her twenties. Baker is an eloquent writer and brings much clarity to a subject that still puzzles most people. This is truly one of the books that should be in every library and medical school, as well as in the homes of families and friends who want a deeper understanding of how individuals know they are transgender.Product details
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Tags : Trading Places: When Our Son Became a Daughter--A Mother's Story of a Family's Transition [Jane Baker] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. This memoir recounts one mother's struggle to come to terms with her grown up transsexual daughter. When she learned that her adult son planned to become a daughter,Jane Baker,Trading Places: When Our Son Became a Daughter--A Mother's Story of a Family's Transition,Braefield Press, LLC,0990626709,BIOGRAPHY & AUTOBIOGRAPHY LGBT
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Trading Places When Our Son Became a DaughterA Mother Story of a Family Transition Jane Baker 9780990626701 Books Reviews
I know that most reviews are about the book, but my review is about the person, Jane Baker. I guess what I want to say through my tears is Thank You. Thank you for taking the time to do such thorough research. Thank you for making me cleanse my soul of the sorrow of what seems like losing my son. I bought your book because when I read about it, I realized that I was not the only person in the world that seemed like transition was like a death. While, I was right there to be with Jessie on her journey, my heart was hurting for what I perceived the loss of my Little Jesse. Yes, Jessie is 43, but (he) has always been my Little Jesse. And although I often spoke with others about how I felt as it were a death in the family, I had never let go and truly grieved. Until this morning that is, when heart wrenching sob came screaming from my body. I was so sad that when I tried to remember the good times in the past 43 years, I could only think of the lifetime of both physical and mental pain Jesse suffered ...and that for the last two months of letting Jessie surface I could only acknowledge that she is the happiest and heathiest I have ever seen her - well except for the side effects of emotions that result from the hormones and being a woman. (smile) But even that is a good thing.
Anyway, Jane Baker, again all I can say is Thank you. Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for letting us see your inmost struggle. Thank you for helping other mothers grow and understand the process of our own transitions.
During my reading of Jane Baker's book, the description that popped into my head most often was "powerful." This book is so informative on gender issues while also weaving a very emotional personal story about coping, researching, challenging and ultimately accepting a once hidden reality in the author's child. I could hardly put the book down. It is so well written and thorough in covering the experience that she lived through that it should be invaluable for other families as well as educators and clinicians who are dealing with transsexual issues.
I thought her chapter on religion was excellent. She starts out respectful enough, but then points out how intolerant religious beliefs can be misused in our society. The author writes, "Because when judges and law-makers inject their religious beliefs into decisions that affect our secular state and our public law, they are treading on my sacred ground." What a great sentence!
I read this book because a close family member also has a transsexual child in his family and I wanted to know more about this gender issue. Despite being open minded and respectful of all people to begin with, this book has now given me a deeper knowledge and appreciation of a segment of our society that should be recognized and given all possible opportunities for happiness.
In "Trading Places", this author aptly points out that this is her story - the journey of a mother losing her son while gaining a daughter - only to eventually come to understand that the daughter was always within. While no one can truly conceptualize this experience unless faced with this personal reality, this well-written book offers valuable insight for any parent who has a child experiencing gender dysphoria. Ms. Baker provides validation to that parent's darkest fears by boldly, honestly and poignantly sharing every emotion she herself experienced.
The author provides excellent information on a subject that most of us no little about. I found it both interesting an enlightening to read of the biological factors associated with gender dysphoria and look forward to the continued research in this field. In the chapter, "Queer Clarification" she also shares the myriad of labels used within this domain and helps sort them out for the lay person.
Politics and religion can both be bastions of power, thereby threatening those who do not fit tightly within the their prescribed behavioral norms. The author openly discusses the threat these institutions can pose to her child. I especially loved reading Ms. Baker's discussion of the conservative religious rejection flying in the face of the belief that we are all God's creatures. As she queries, "Does anyone really believe that a benevolent God could endorse such cruelty and violence?"
There were a few times when I cried - mostly because I ached for this young woman who had no control over her gender incongruence - and then shed tears of joy as she is legally given her new name and could finally face the external world as she internally viewed herself. I laughed at a few of the author's jokes as she metaphorically related to episodes of the "I Love Lucy" television show. I also loved her thread of explanation of cognitive dissonance via the explanation of Helen Keller's own experience of learning symbolic language.
Ultimately, this is a personal recount of a mother's anguish and grief for the loss of the son she gave birth to and raised to young adulthood. No matter what else one feels as a parent, the choice to support a child's transformation to the authentic self was both loving and courageous. I loved the parallel worlds described of this child's gender dysphoria with the parent's gender dissonance - thus the title, Trading Places". Thank you for sharing the raw emotions as well as the etiological framework!
I've read numerous books on transgender issues, and this is one of the very best. Perhaps it's because the author is not only a parent (so we follow her very reluctant emotional journey to acceptance) but also an engineer (so we get a much more complete understanding of the science-based questions that arise). It's also significant that the author's child transitioned as a young adult, which gives us a wider perspective and more richly detailed picture of the path the author's family traveled, with lots of looks back at a seemingly typical childhood, wherein the parents had no idea their child was transgender until she came out in her twenties. Baker is an eloquent writer and brings much clarity to a subject that still puzzles most people. This is truly one of the books that should be in every library and medical school, as well as in the homes of families and friends who want a deeper understanding of how individuals know they are transgender.
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